Search

Things You Should NEVER Say at a Murder Mystery Party (and Why)

Ashley Seybolt
Jul 16
3 min read

Five friends at a wooden table outdoors, laughing and chatting with drinks. Bamboo fence and greenery in the background. Bright and cheerful mood.

Think you're being helpful? Think again. Some things are better left unsaid, especially when you're knee-deep in scandal, secrets, and suspicious behavior at a murder mystery party.

Whether you're a first-time sleuth or a seasoned suspect, murder mystery parties are a chance to embrace dramatic flair, step into character, and piece together a whodunnit without breaking the immersive magic. But just like any good mystery, there are unspoken rules that help keep the night suspenseful and fun for everyone.

If you’ve ever wondered what not to do at a murder mystery party, this is your definitive guide. Let's expose the well-meaning but momentum-ruining comments that can grind the gears of gameplay faster than a detective with no leads.

"So, Who’s the Killer?"

This is the mystery equivalent of yelling “fire” in a theater.

Even if asked jokingly, this question can tank the vibe. Whether you're speaking to the host, another player, or even your reflection in a martini glass, asking outright “Who did it?” is a huge no-no. Not only does it break the fourth wall, but it also pulls people out of character and risks exposing secrets prematurely.

What to do instead: Play the part. Ask leading questions. Build theories. Be suspicious, but in character. After all, it’s more satisfying to figure it out yourself.

"Is This Part Real?"

This often comes up when someone is unsure if a moment is scripted or if another guest is just a little too convincing.

We get it. That woman sobbing into a feather boa about her third husband’s fortune seems oddly committed. But asking if something is real disrupts the immersion.

Besides, at a good mystery party, everything should feel real until it isn’t.

What to do instead: Roll with it. React in-character. If you're confused, use it as a clue, not a cue to step out of the game.

"Wait, Who Am I Again?"

We’ve all forgotten our lines, but asking for a full character breakdown halfway through the night not only disrupts the flow, it tells everyone else you didn’t read your materials. Oof.

Not knowing your character is one of the most common mystery mistakes, and it’s easily avoidable.

What to do instead: Skim your character sheet before the party. If you’re unsure, quietly check your materials or ask the host before game time starts. And if you're truly lost, improvise in the spirit of the role. (That’s what all great detectives do!)

"Do I HAVE to Act?"

This is a big mood killer. We promise no one expects an Oscar-worthy performance. But saying you’re “just here to watch” or opting out of the fun makes it harder for others to stay immersed.

Murder mystery parties rely on participation. If one person bows out mid-scene, it breaks the flow for everyone else.

What to do instead: Participate at your own comfort level, but stay engaged. Even a subtle character choice or suspicious glance can make you a fan favorite.

"I Think I Know the Plot — I Read One Like This Online!"

Plot spoilers = party poison.

Even if the storyline feels familiar, resist the urge to compare it to a podcast, TV episode, or game you played in 2018. These mysteries often have unique twists, and preemptively guessing the ending (especially out loud) can ruin the fun for others.

What to do instead: Keep your theories internal. Test them in-character. And if you’re right? Bask in your brilliance after the big reveal.

Final Thoughts: Be a Clue, Not a Clunker

Murder mystery parties are at their best when everyone buys in, not just to the costumes and cocktails, but to the spirit of play. Knowing what not to ask at a murder mystery party is just as important as knowing who to suspect.

So remember: Don’t spoil the fun. Don’t break character. And for the love of mystery, never EVER ask the host if you can just be the bartender instead. (Unless that’s your assigned character. In which case... pour suspiciously.)